Dude. This is a no-brainer. You love ice cream. You love candy. May as well throw in your love of thunder thighs, too – we’re making Halloween Candy Milkshakes, chubbs!

Kick-ass Candy Milkshakes

• Vanilla/French Vanilla ice cream
• Your favorite Halloween candy (tonight we’re rollin’ with Reese’s Pieces and/or M&M’s)
• 1/4 cup milk

Directions:

1. Scoop a generous amount of ice cream in your blender.
2. Add 1/8 cup of milk (or, 1/2 of 1/4 cup if you’re from the Nesting Doll school of thought).
3. Pulse the blender in 3 second intervals 10 times.
4. Add the candy (Note: if you’re using candy bars, it’s a good idea to coarsely chop the goods before dumping them into the blender so they’re actually distributed evenly).
5. Add the remaining milk.
6. Pulse the blender in 2 second intervals 6 times.
7. Pour contents from blender into a chilled pint glass.
8. Top with Whipped Cream (Optional … or TOTALLY F&%#ING NECESSARY).
9. Enjoy.

These milkshakes are an awesome way to enjoy the spoils of your children’s Trick-or-Treating. So put those kids to work on Saturday and make sure they haul in a king’s ransom of candy. If not, tell them that the milkshakes will run red with their blood. That should do the trick.

Assembly photos

Normally reserved for booze, we just found another use for the blender.

Gotta love those Halloween colors. What won't they sell?

We used some French Vanilla ice cream from Target. Yup, we're foodies. LAWLS.

Dude. You gotta WAIT.