I’ve got a big fat bone to pick with Cigna, the health insurance oligarch who recently bought out Great West, my company’s PPO of choice.

Y’see, my wife and I just had a very complicated pregnancy, where our daughter, Jane, was born at 28 weeks. Prior to all of this happening, we had enrolled in Great West’s Great Beginnings program, which, in a nutshell, waived our $250 deductible and sent us some neato pregnancy and child development books.

Well, we’re currently fighting with Cigna over the matter of Jane’s monthly RSV vaccination – a vaccination that’s absolutely 100% without-a-doubt necessary for her long-term health and general well-being.

If you want to know more about how frackin’ expensive the RSV vaccine is, check out this great About.com article (did I just type that?!) about it:

One of my forum readers posted a great question today. Synagis, the vaccine for RSV (respiratory synctial virus) is very expensive. The cost varies depending on the dosage, but each shot for this reader’s baby costs $2600! That’s $2600 per month for the entire RSV season.

Well, thankfully Cigna doesn’t want to do more than play a financial game of just the tip. Cigna has mercifully negotiated with Synagis and has a provider cost of $414.00, which, compared to the $2,600.00 cited above, is a freakin’ bargain (84% off list price).

Now, here’s where this little tale gets interesting: Cigna doesn’t recognize the Great West Great Beginnings program, so we’re on the hook for all $414.00, due every month, OR OUR DAUGHTER COULD CATCH RESPIRATORY SYNCYTIAL VIRUS.

Fine. Great West/Cigna don’t recognize the enrollment in the Great Beginnings program. Surely, then, we’ve met our $250 deductible and our $1,000 maximum out-of-pocket expenses, right? We shouldn’t have to pay a dime, right?

Well, they don’t have records of that.

So we’re paying the full amount until those asshats at Cigna can figure out how not to fail at a Merger/Acquisition of another company.